Brown Eyes
by Tribbith
Summary: Finn and Rachel try and deal with the holidays alone, but when gun shots are fired, it looks like they have a lot more to wish for than forgiveness.
1. Chapter 1

**Set after 'A Very Glee Christmas'. You know when you're feeling really lousy and sad? Well, this is what happens FYI. I'm also embracing the cliché plotline but I'm moody right now so you'll just have to embrace it too.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the Cary Brothers (lyrics in the next chapters), but I might do in the future, I'll see how it goes.**

They'd shared a smile as they dressed Mr Schue's Christmas tree, and in the pit of his stomach (and his heart), Finn Hudson had felt a glimmer of hope, or of affection, or... hell, it was something, even if he couldn't describe it.

He was proud of himself, you know. Rachel had offered to sing him a song, and they'd kicked the crap out of the Wham! version of Last Christmas, and she'd tried to kiss him, and every single time, he could have easily, _easily_ responded.

But he wasn't a push over. She was the one that had treated him badly, and he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness for a while to make sure she understood that. Did he want to get back together with her? He wasn't sure. He missed the smell of her on his clothes, and he missed the early morning phone calls, and he missed the banana bread, but did he miss being in a relationship? Finn wasn't too sure about that at all. It wasn't like there was a noose around his neck anyway; he needed time to heal, and though Christmas was probably gonna suck, he could handle it.

He was a big boy after all.

**Glee!**

"Have you actually tried cracking a smile?" scolded Kurt, waking Finn from his daydream.

Finn, who suddenly felt a strange sense of disorientation, glanced around the room, only to find that he was watching some movie with Kurt (and by the looks of things, it wasn't something he was going to enjoy).

"What the hell are we watching?" he snorted. He grabbed the DVD case from the table in front of him and rolled his eyes, throwing it haphazardly on the couch. "27 Dresses; seriously Kurt?" He groaned inwardly and let his head hang on the back of the chair because he was pretty positive the movie was gonna put him to sleep.

"It's predictable, yes, but it's enjoyable. Anyway, you avoided my question." Kurt paused the DVD and angled his body towards his step-brother, a look on his face that clearly said 'I'm going to find out why you're such a sulky baby and you're gonna like it'. "Is it still Rachel? Because I have to tell you Finn, this whole charade is getting old."

Finn snorted and glared across at him. "Oops, yeah, sorry Kurt, I totally forgot that you have no heart." He shrugged and sighed. "So what if it is about Rachel? The whole... I dunno, _thing_ with her is like losing your favourite Jacob Marks pants, so sorry if I don't smile enough."

Kurt held in an unbelieving laugh because he assumed it wouldn't be appreciated (Jacob Marks, honestly?), then attempted a sympathetic smile. "I didn't mean it an uncaring way." He ignored the way Finn's eyes rolled again (that was becoming his most prominent, infuriating habit) and sighed. "Look, I know that you two were serious, and you were in love, and she kissed Puckerman, but you have to realise that she's all for giving the relationship another go."

Finn stood up and furrowed his brow, staring at Kurt like he'd just spoken in Chinese while he balled his hands into fists. "And you know that because...?"

Kurt cleared his throat in a dainty manner and ran a finger along his hair to make sure it was still in place (he was meeting up with Blaine in two hours, and he was well aware of his lack of preparation time). "You're not the only one who Rachel talks to," he said matter-of-factly.

"You _hate_ her!" Finn shook his head with incredulity. "No, come on Kurt, I _know_ you hate her. Why did she tell you anything about us?" He rolled his eyes (Kurt resisted the urge to slap him for that action alone) and began to pace up and down, his body tense and agitated. "You hate her _don't_ you?"

Kurt shrugged a little. "We've become slightly closer over the past few weeks, since she actually made an effort to be nice to me." He bit back a comment about the bullying saga because while Finn was being an ass, he didn't need that kind of guilt bringing up again. "Unlike you, Rachel doesn't have a host of friends to divulge information to, and since I have the pleasure of living with you, it seemed fitting that she told me her-" He air quoted with his fingers, pulling a face as he did so. "-'infuriating Finn Hudson problems'. Besides, I think you need someone to talk to, so if you need me, I'm here." Kurt turned his attention back to the television, and when he felt a dip in the couch, he looked at Finn with a small smile. "I know what you're going to say, and while she hasn't expressly told me, I _know_ she's still in love with you."

Finn closed his mouth and gave a curt nod. "Okay, well, let's try this movie, shall we?"

**Glee!**

Kurt wasn't trying to interfere, but since Rachel was his new 'friend' (he had a problem saying that out loud) and Finn his new brother, he decided it was in his best interest for the two of them to swallow their pride and guilt and angst and whatever else they were harbouring so they could just get back to _normal_.

Therefore, when his dad asked him to pick out a tree, Kurt knew he had to act upon his gut instinct.

"Hudson, I know you're awake because I can hear the screams of the innocent zombies that you're annihilating!"

Finn's bedroom door opened two minutes later to reveal a grumpy looking boy who obviously needed some sleep. "I was killing enemy troops..." Finn yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Kurt, what are you doing here?"

Kurt scoffed. "Oh, so it's okay for you to spend most of your time at _my_ house, but when I pay you a visit, you act like it's a huge deal!" He huffed and folded his arms. "I _told_ you I'm not going to repaper your room if you don't want me to! Now please, let me in or I'll tell Carole that you're watching porn."

Finn let out an angry growl that rumbled in his throat and chest with indignation. "Jeez Kurt, bros before hoes." He opened his door and let Kurt pass before he realised what he'd just said. "Wait, I didn't mean that my-"

Kurt waved him off as he raised his nose at the general mess and smell in the room. "Yes yes, I know your mother isn't a prostitute. Seriously, do you ever clean up in here?" He kicked a pile of dirty laundry with his foot and sighed in resignation. "Never mind, that's obviously a no. Anyway, I'm here to recruit you for my secret mission."

Finn didn't respond at first because really, that sounded way too ominous. "What do I get out of it?"

Kurt smiled knowingly. "I hear that you're a bit of a Christmas tree expert. I have a pocket full of cash and no idea what I'm looking for, so you'll have the satisfaction of choosing the pièce de résistance of the Christmas holiday." He raised an eyebrow. "Interested?"

Finn nodded, determined, then glanced down at his legs. "Just let me grab some pants."

Kurt muttered something to himself; thank God his love for Finn was purely platonic.

**Glee!**

"And one year we had this absolutely _awesome_ tree that wouldn't fit in the living room, so I had to cut the top off, and I kept it in my bedroom with a little star and everything."

Kurt had been drifting in and out of the conversation for the whole of the journey. Finn had no idea how painful this notion was for him, because Mr Hudson wasn't the only boy in Lima who knew the difference between coniferous and deciduous pines (it was part of the responsibility of decorating the house every year).

He checked his watch as inconspicuously as possible, and with a tight smile to himself, he knew that Rachel would be waiting for them, none the wiser about Kurt's master plan. Yes, he'd heard her version of the Last Christmas (tree) tragedy, but Kurt had figured that the familiar setting would provoke an onslaught of powerful, hungry emotions that would result in the return of Finchel (it wasn't a patch on Furt, but he couldn't complain) and the crowning of a new Cupid hero.

"I'm so excited about this," gushed Finn as he stepped out of the truck into the cold night air. There was something magical about being wrapped up tightly in hats and scarves and gloves (even though the weather wasn't even that bad), the smell of pine trees filling his senses, the sound of Christmas carols, the flashing of lights and decorations. Sure, it was gonna be weird being with Kurt, but it marked a new, hopefully positive change in his life that he was trying his best to embrace.

"K-Kurt?"

The smile on Finn's face vanished instantly because the voice ringing in his ears was- "Rachel?" Finn turned to the boy beside him, and with a mixture of betrayal and shock on his face, he gritted his teeth. "Kurt, what the hell is this?" He looked to Rachel, waiting for her to admit that she was in on it too, but she looked just as confused as he did.

"Oh give it a rest Finn. Rachel's my friend, and I wanted her to be here, okay? Don't be so egotistical to think that it was some clever ploy to lure the two of you together." Kurt walked towards the display of trees, barely wincing at his use of the word friend, or at the near destruction of his flawless plan. If anything, Finn's anger towards him was positive, because all Rachel had to do was complain about it too, and on the common ground of 'Kurt sucks', the two of them would be romantically reunited under the mistletoe (Kurt had some in his bag _just_ in case).

Finn glanced awkwardly at Rachel, and the first thing he thought was how pretty she looked (he was desperate to lean in and smell her because he _really_ missed her smell).

"Kurt's a jackass," he finally said.

With a brief, fake smile, Rachel nodded, not looking directly at him. "I'm going to go home. Sorry for upsetting you." She turned away from him fully, not even unleashing her sad, emotional eyes on him, and hurried in the other direction.

Finn watched her walking away. He didn't stop her, but no, he didn't want her to leave either, did he?

He heard a sigh from behind him. "Well done Finn; let's just choose this goddamn tree."

**Glee!**

Kurt and Finn were sitting in front of the television, watching Iron Man (since it had been Finn's choice, Kurt was having trouble concentrating on the storyline, though it was uncanny how much Pepper Potts looked like Miss Holiday). The whole 'spending time together' thing had come a lot easier than either of them had expected. It wasn't a chore to pretend to enjoy each other's company, and more often than not, the step brothers began to miss each other when they were apart (though neither would admit it).

Their tree was perched against the wall proudly, though instead of happiness, Finn associated it with Rachel's retreating figure; he should have told her to stay.

Kurt's phone buzzed obnoxiously, causing Finn to clench his jaw in frustration. That Blaine kid never left him alone!

"Kurt, can't you ignore it for just a little longer? The movie's almost finished." Finn readied a smile in case the boy next to him threw a tantrum, but he couldn't see any kind of annoyance on Kurt's face... Kurt's white, horrified face. "Kurt?" Finn grabbed his brother's shoulder and shook it a few times, because he was scaring the _shit_ out of him. "Kurt!"

The boy in question looked at Finn, and somehow, though his mouth was dry and his voice was hoarse, he managed to whisper four words that shattered Finn's heart. "Rachel's just been shot."

**A/N: **There are four chapter to follow this one, but I'm going for something slightly different, which will be evident in chapter three :)


	2. Chapter 2

Finn didn't move for a moment, because there was obviously something _wrong_ with his ears or brain or-

"Finn, did you hear me?"

He managed a nod, because judging by the tears pooling in Kurt's eyes, he'd heard right after all.

"Come on, we're going." Finn pulled him up by his hand, and somehow, he remained insanely calm while Kurt crumbled beside him. He located the keys for his truck, grabbed two apples from the kitchen, then escorted Kurt out of the house as if it was any other day, as if the love of his life hadn't just been- "Kurt, come _on!_" Finn ran a hand through his hair in desperation, because if Kurt cracked, he wasn't sure he could pull himself together.

Kurt hovered on the doorstep, staring at his iPhone as it dropped to the floor. He didn't react when the screen received a disfiguring crack, and didn't react when Finn grabbed him by the shoulders. "Look at me."

Kurt gulped, despite the huge lump in his throat, and managed to look up at Finn. "Rachel-"

"I know, but we need to _find_ her." He tightened his grip on Kurt's shoulder and nodded, his face free of any kind of emotion. "Come on." He took his hand for the second time, and with a brief squeeze of his fingers, Finn led Kurt to the truck, frightened he was going to pass out. He pulled himself into the driver's seat, checked his mirrors, turned on the radio, then waited patiently for Kurt to fasten his seatbelt.

He wondered if he thought him heartless, but Finn knew that if he allowed himself to succumb to the reality of the situation, he wouldn't be able to drive, let alone sit by Rachel's side at the-

"Where is she?" he asked suddenly, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Kurt rubbed at his eyes and let out a small sniffle. "St Rita's." The truck pulled away from the curb as soon as the words had left Kurt's mouth; all they could do was wait.

_Don't panic._

Finn sang along to the radio without realising it. It helped to believe, just for a second, that he wasn't driving to a hospital to see his (ex)girlfriend, the (ex)girlfriend who had been shot.

He blinked furiously to stop any tears forming. "Who told you?" He glanced quickly over at Kurt (he didn't like to look away from the road if he could help it), then regretted it when he saw him silently sobbing and shaking.

"H-her dad." Kurt took a deep breath to steady himself. "She g-gave me his number after the whole Karofsky ordeal."

Finn nodded blankly, thankful for the resourcefulness of the Berry family. "Sing with me." Kurt looked at him with surprise and slight disgust, and Finn somehow managed a smile. "Kurt, sing with me until we get there." He bit his lip and let out a near silent sigh as he returned his attention the road. "I need this."

"_This could be the very minute I'm alive; all these places feel like home_." Kurt looked out of the window as he sung, so pure and emotional. "_With a name I've never chosen, I can make my first steps as a child of twenty five_." A tear ran down his cheek as he turned to Finn, a silent invitation for him to join in.

"_This is the straw, final straw, in the roof of my mouth as I lie to you, because 'I'm sorry' doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it at the time_." Finn felt a lump form in his throat, because if Kurt had chosen this song just to make him feel even _worse_... "_You're the only thing that I love, it scares me more everyday; on my knees I think-" _He stopped, then whispered, "clearer."

**Glee!**

They pulled into the hospital car park, but there was no more singing in the truck; it was just silence. The closer they'd gotten, the more it dawned on Finn that Rachel Berry had been _shot_. He jumped out of his seat, his mouth set in a grimace, and promised himself that if Rachel... if she didn't make it, he was going to hunt the mother fucking murderer down and kill them.

"This way Finn. I know this place like the back of my hand." Kurt linked arms with his stepbrother, and though he experienced some resistance at first, he managed to steer Finn towards the hospital. His momentary shock had passed, as had his need to cry, and now he realised that it was Finn that needed him, not the other way round.

They entered the large, daunting building, and at once, both of them were overwhelmed by the sheer _noise_. People were crying and screaming and shouting and cursing and Finn had to stop himself from joining in.

They approached the front desk, and while Kurt managed to stay composed, Finn felt his knees buckle under the pressure.

"Could you tell me where a Miss Rachel Berry is being treated please?" Kurt addressed the receptionist politely and calmly, which man, Finn appreciated _so _much, because he was losing it now; the normality and singing and stuff had long worn off.

The receptionist, her nose slightly upturned and an ugly suspicion in her eyes, squinted at the pair of them. "Are you family?"

"Yes," said Kurt automatically, no trace of a lie in his voice. "I'm her brother, and this is our cousin." He nodded towards Finn, though the woman didn't look convinced. "If you like, I can call my father and he'll clarify things?"

"Room 209 in ward five," drawled the receptionist. She returned to her work then glared at the two of them. "No cell phones are to be used in that ward."

"Okay, thanks, come on cousin." Kurt took Finn's hand (he barely remembered a time when that had been uncomfortable) and directed him towards the elevators. They travelled in silence, though the two of them still held hands, because what they couldn't say in words was described perfectly in the touch of their skin; they were both terrified.

"Room 209," stated Finn monotonously when they suddenly appeared outside of their destination (he felt like they'd drifted there involuntarily). He reached for the door handle, but someone behind him cleared his throat, and Finn knew who it was without thinking; Mr Berry, Rachel's dad. He hadn't had the 'pleasure' of formally meeting her dads, but he remembered the booming voice from his phone calls to Rachel (it was usually when he called late at night, and he'd hear Mr Berry in the background, yelling about 'disrespectful friends').

"You must be Kurt." Finn turned awkwardly to face the man, who was shaking Kurt's hand. "Thank you for coming. I didn't know who to contact, and I don't have the numbers of Rachel's other friends."

"I'm sorry we're meeting for the first time under the circumstances," whispered Kurt, his voice wavering.

Mr Berry looked at Finn, and a flash of recognition appeared on his face. "Finn Hudson." He didn't say anything else, which made Finn feel like he was under a really hot, intense spotlight.

"M-Mr Berry... What happened?"

Rachel's dad, who looked like the kind of man who never cried, let out a choking sound. "Come and get something to drink. I'll tell you everything I know."

**Glee!**

Finn had never really given coffee much thought before. It seemed like an adult drink, and really, the smell was bad enough to deal with, so he didn't bother drinking the stuff; he was more of a hot chocolate kind of guy.

Now however, coffee was like air to him. He breathed in the scent and the flavour like oxygen, and regardless of the bitter taste that engulfed his mouth, he craved it, because this was an adult situation, and frankly, he was exhausted by the concept of Rachel, in hospital, with bullet wounds.  
He burnt his tongue in eagerness because Mr Berry had gone to the bathroom, and Finn was on the edge of his seat. Kurt was uncharacteristically quiet, but that wasn't his fault. His dad had been through hell, and Finn assumed it was painful reliving the experience.

"Sorry about that." Rachel's dad took a seat beside Kurt in the lounge area, down the hall from where Rachel was being treated, and let out a deep breath. "My little girl left the house about two hours ago. She told me she was going to meet some friends, and that she'd be back within the hour."

As her dad looked up at the ceiling to compose his thoughts, Finn had to stop himself from puking, because two hours ago, he and Kurt had been picking a fucking _Christmas tree; _it was their fault. "Forty five minutes after she left, I received a phone call from the hospital. Her daddy and I rushed here immediately, where she was going into surgery." Kurt seemed to shrink into his seat, no colour in his face, and Finn had to bite down on his lip to remind himself that it wasn't some ridiculously terrible dream.

"D-do you know... I m-mean, where did, who...?"

Mr Berry nodded at Finn; he understood his incoherent stuttering. "The police talked to us while Rachel was being operated on, and there was a witness to the scene. S-she said that there had been some kind of commotion in the area between a young man and a girl." He gritted his teeth. "Rachel was unknowingly walking down the same street as them when she was caught in the middle of it. The girl must have provoked the shooter, because he opened fire on-" Mr Berry covered his face with his hands, and not so silently, he began to sob.

Finn was terrified. He wasn't used to adults crying, and yeah, he should have been comforting the guy, but all he could think about was Rachel being frightened, Rachel being vulnerable, Rachel being faced with a gun, Rachel taking a bullet; he had to see her.

"Mr Berry, how is she doing?" asked Kurt, though his voice was more of a whimper than anything else.

"She's... she's stable, but she hasn't... woken up."

Finn didn't wait for an invitation. He didn't know where her other dad was, he didn't know if there were doctors with her, he didn't know if he was allowed to see her, but Finn forced himself into her room and nearly cried out in shock and horror.

"Rachel..."

There she was, in a huge hospital bed, looking smaller than ever. She had all kinds of wires and tubes attached to her body, and in case he needed a reminder of how frail she was, the heart monitor bleeped faintly (at least she was alive, at least she was alive).

Beside the bed was a chair, and Finn knew that he was going to be spending a lot of time in that chair. He was gonna be as helpless as that chair, because he wanted to save her, kiss her, care for her, but what could he do? He was a fucking chair; he wished he'd taken the bullet for her.

_Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie  
Window broke, torn up screens  
Who'd have thought that you'd dream of a single tragic scene?_

He sat down on the chair, and careful not to pull on any of the wires, Finn took Rachel's tiny hand in his, pressing a kiss to her fingers.

_I just wanna sing a song with you  
I just want to take it off of you_

The door opened behind him, but Finn didn't look around since he had a job to do. "I'm so sorry Rachel." He scrunched his eyes shut. "It's my fault. I made you feel uncomfortable, and I didn't stop you when you left... You shouldn't have left." He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"It's not your fault Finn, not in the slightest."

Finn angled himself so that he could look up at Kurt without letting go of Rachel's hand. "If she hadn't have left, she wouldn't be here; that sounds like my fault to me." He looked back at his (ex) girlfriend, whose face looked exactly the same and yet completely different. "She shouldn't have left. I should have gone, not her."

"It's the butterfly effect, Finn." Kurt interpreted the silence as an inability to understand, and decided to keep on talking. "It basically means that if you do something as insignificant as stepping on a butterfly, everything changes. If Rachel had stayed, it could have been you in that bed, or an old woman, or a small child. Don't beat yourself up about it when it was out of your hands anyway."

'_Cause blue eyes, you are all that I need  
'Cause blue eyes, you're the sweet to my mean_

Finn didn't understand what the hell Kurt was talking about, so he didn't respond. He instead brushed a finger over Rachel's cheek. She looked so peaceful; he wondered if she was having a good dream.

"I miss her eyes," he said quietly, trailing a finger over her eyelids. "Rachel has the best eyes ever. They're brown, but they're a specific, beautiful brown, and they seem to change shade when she's happy, or hurt, or-" He didn't need to finish that sentence. Kurt would never understand anyway. "Where are her dads?"

"Talking to the police again."

"Oh." Finn looked over his shoulder. "Could you give me a minute please Kurt?"

Kurt didn't protest, but simply nodded, patting Finn's shoulder once before leaving the room.

Finn closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then turned back to Rachel. "I'm so sorry Rachel, for everything. I just want to forget all the stupid relationship problems and Puck and Santana and _everything _because none of that is important when it comes down to life and death. I love-"

_Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand  
I can help you to stand_

The monitor attached to her body began to bleep.

_Saved it up for this dance_

"Rachel-"

_Tell me all the things you can_

It began to beep faster, and an army of doctors and nurses rushed into the room.

_I just wanna sing a song with you_

"Rachel! What's going on?"

_I just want to be the one that's true_

"She's flat-lining! We need a crash cart in here!"

'_Cause blue eyes, you're the secret I keep_

"Son, you're going to have to leave the area."

'_Cause blue eyes_

"No, please, she's my, I love her-"

_All the lights on and you are alive_

"Charging; clear!"

_But you can't point the way to your heart_

"Again! Charging; clear!"

_So sublime when the stars are aligned_

Finn was ushered out of the room, wedged between her parents, Kurt, and two police officers. He watched, through the small window, as Rachel's body jumped under the electric paddles, and he felt his own heart ache and sting.

_But you don't know_

"I wish it had been me," he whispered to no one in particular. "It should have been me."

_You don't know the greatness you are_

Finn felt his head spin with dizziness.

'_Cause blue eyes, you are destiny's scene_

"I love you Rachel."

'_Cause blue eyes, I just wanna be the one_

_I just wanna sing a song with you_

Finn's eyes closed as he felt a stabbing pain in his chest.

_I just wanna get it on with you_

He fell to the floor in an awkward slump.

'_Cause blue eyes, you're the secret I keep_

"Finn!"

'_Cause blue eyes, I just wanna sing a song with you_

Rachel's eyes opened.

**A/N: **The song Kurt and Finn sing is Chocolate by Snow Patrol, and the other song used is called Blue Eyes by the Cary Brothers.

Thank you to all those who alerted and reviewed! I could really appreciate some feedback on this chapter because I'm not used to writing this kind of thing, and I'd also like to know if any of you can see what's coming next (I'm trying to keep it different and surprising, but maybe I'm flattering myself too much haha).

Anyway, hopefully I should have the next chapter up tomorrow. Again, feedback would mean a lot to me, since I'm kind of 'eh' about this so far. Thanks again! x


	3. Chapter 3

_"It's the butterfly effect, Finn." Kurt interpreted the silence as an inability to understand, and decided to keep on talking. "It basically means that if you do something as insignificant as stepping on a butterfly, everything changes. If Rachel had stayed, it could have been you in that bed, or an old woman, or a small child. Don't beat yourself up about it when it was out of your hands anyway."_

They'd shared a smile as they dressed Mr Schuester's Christmas tree, and in the back of her eyes, Rachel had felt the sting of failure, yet at the same time, as Finn looked to the decoration in his hands, she knew she had to have faith for brighter things.

She was proud of herself, actually. She'd offered to sing Finn a song, and their version of Last Christmas was superior to the original, and she'd tried to kiss him, and every single time, she proved to him that she _wasn't_ going to give up on their relationship, even if he was reluctant for now.

But she wasn't a push over. He'd hurt her too, and she was willing to remind him of that fact if he decided to ignore it. Could she handle the constant rejection if he wasn't interested? She wasn't sure. She was used to getting what she wanted, whether it was a pink cell phone, new sweater, or Finn Hudson, and yes, it was extremely difficult to be knocked back when she was trying so hard, and it was extremely difficult to enjoy the holidays without him (regardless of her faith). Christmas was going to be painfully lonely, but she knew she could handle it.

She was a big girl after all.

**Glee!**

Kurt lingered in the doorway of Rachel's room. They were friends to an extent, but her bedroom still creeped him out. However, she looked at him with a smile and a hopefulness that melted away his disgust, so with a deep breath, he stepped inside, relieved when he didn't die from the terrible colour choices that she'd made. He glanced around, silently noting the photos of Finn on walls and dressers and well, everywhere. He didn't mention it, but sat down on her bed with her, cringing at the flowery sheets (one day he _definitely_ had to help her redecorate).

"Well, this is certainly new," he said with a smirk, remembering that the last time he'd been there was Rachel's 'makeover'.

Rachel nodded, toying with the hem of her skirt. "I know, but I want to make it clear Kurt..." She looked up and smiled warmly as she placed on hand on his shoulder. "I like being your friend."

"Yes... friends." Kurt hid the apprehension from his voice since he was determined to make some kind of effort (if Mercedes could see him now...). "So, is there a point to your invitation? Maybe you want some help restyling your room? Because really Rachel, have you _seen_ it?"

Rachel mentally shook off Kurt's insult (jealousy, clearly) because she had things she needed to talk about, and she was hoping he could help.

"It's Finn. I'm positive that every member of the glee club will have informed you about our break up, and I just want to set the record clear."

Kurt cleared his throat awkwardly. "I may have heard about it, yes, but isn't it true that you made out with Puckerman while you were dating my step-brother?" Kurt's face took on an expression of disdain that made Rachel shrink and squirm.

"Yes, it's true," she admitted softly. "I know that I shouldn't have done it, but Finn treated me so _badly_ and I've tried to set things right, I have, yet when we sung Last Christmas together, he wasn't even affected! That's one of the most romantic Christmas songs of all time, and he didn't even care!"

Kurt refrained from telling her what he really thought, because when it came down to loyalties, he was on (slightly) better terms with Finn, even without the fact that they were now part of the same family.

"Rachel," he said softly, and as proof of his new found kindness, he pressed his hand to her shoulder (if only briefly), "stop being such a drama queen."

Rachel looked mortified. "Kurt, this is _serious! _I'm willing to do anything to prove that I still care for him, but he just doesn't seem to be responding to any of it!"

"I know," he said shortly. He checked his watch, silently calculating something in his head before looking back at her, his face blank. "You hurt him, a lot, but you already know that. You're not perfect, and neither is he." Rachel's face crumpled. "But Finn's an idiot, and he'll soon come round I'm sure."

Rachel stopped herself from telling Kurt that no, Finn wasn't an idiot at all; if anything, _she_ was the idiot, because she'd done this to herself, and she deserved every bit of misery that came from her reckless actions. "What do you think I need to do?" she asked quietly, chewing on her lip.

Kurt looked towards the door in thought. "You need to back off. Let him cope with being lonely, and when he realises that he's ready to forgive you, he'll forgive you."

Rachel smiled hopefully. "I hope so; thank you Kurt. I don't know how I could ever repay you for actually caring about my mental state."

Kurt smirked and pulled a sketch book from his messenger bag. "I know _exactly_ how you can repay me; let's start off with colour schemes. For your walls, I'm thinking gold."

**Glee!**

Rachel set up her tripod and video camera, ready to catch up on her lack of MySpace videos. If Kurt thought she needed to 'back off' then she would do so, even if it was already killing her.

She liked Kurt, to an extent. Yes, it was amazing that he was willing to be in her company when he used to be so annoyed by her before, but now and again he'd say something in jest that she wasn't _quite _sure was a joke, and it was a small reminder that their friendship was new and raw and uncharted.

Her cell phone began to sing Don't Go Breaking My Heart (she wanted to punish herself, and her ringtone was a reminder of her infidelity, though she wasn't likely to forget it). "Hello?"

"Rachel, it's Kurt. I need help choosing a Christmas tree, and a certain brother of mine is otherwise engaged. Would you do me the honour of aiding a friend?"

Rachel smiled to herself because she wasn't used to people (other than Finn) needing her help. "Of course; when did you want me to meet you?"

"The Christmas tree farm in two hours. See you soon Miss Berry, and wear lots of layers."

**Glee!**

Rachel paced up and down the street, her arms wrapped around herself to stay warm. In hindsight, she wasn't sure why she'd agreed to this. Not only was it cold, but being surrounded by festive cheer... it didn't make it any easier to try and think unrelated Finn Hudson thoughts.

No, she was helping a friend, and she had to be strong, even if the smell of the trees made her want to roll into a ball and cry her heart out.

A truck pulled up along the street, and as soon as she saw it, Rachel _knew_ whose truck that was, because she'd admired the driver too many times to count. Kurt emerged from the passenger seat, and then there was Finn, looking tall and excited and utterly beautiful as he breathed in the scent of the night air.

She hurried forward, keeping her head down and her gaze away from Finn, and when she was close enough to speak, she cleared her throat. "K-Kurt?"

She couldn't believe that Kurt had set her up like this!

Actually, of course she could. It had been too much to believe that he was actually interested in being her friend; now he was just trying to sabotage her sanity, because this was the opposite of backing off.

She risked a glance in Finn's direction, because she needed to know if he was in the dark like she was; his furrowed brow spoke for itself.

"Rachel?" She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but defaulted to looking at Kurt for an answer. She thought about yelling at him, but was beaten to it by Finn. "Kurt, what the hell is this?"

Rachel glared at Kurt, trying to relay her sense of betrayal and pain and anger in one intense stare, but he didn't seem affected (she'd have to work on that). "Oh give it a rest Finn," Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes. "Rachel's my friend, and I wanted her to be here, okay? Don't be so egotistical to think that it was some clever ploy to lure the two of you together."

Rachel was too busy thinking about the connotations of the word 'friend' to notice that Kurt had left her alone with Finn. When she did realise, she felt a blush rise on her cheeks because he was looking at her, and not just in a fleeting glance; he was looking at her _properly_ (did he like her hat? Maybe her scarf was too festive even for him?). When she saw him open his mouth, probably to insult her outfit or tell her how horrible she was, she decided to interrupt him, because no, she wasn't going to take his criticisms anymore. She'd admitted her mistake, she'd tried to make amends, and if Finn wasn't going to accept that then fine; she wasn't going to let him make her feel worse.

"This is going to be so much fun," she said as sarcastically as possible. "I can't believe Kurt made us do this; let's just get it over with." Yes, she'd _nailed_ her cruel delivery, which only proved how brilliant of an actress she was since she wanted to apologise instantly for being so cold.

She looked to Finn, but he was avoiding her gaze, probably because she'd been unnecessarily sharp with him.  
"Will you give Kurt my keys? I'm gonna leave you to it." He didn't wait for a reply, but dropped his keys into the snow before walking away, and Rachel found herself wanting to tell him to stop, because she loved him, because she needed him, because she missed him.

Kurt sighed behind her. "Well done Rachel; let's just choose this goddamn tree."

**Glee!**

Rachel dragged her feet along the ground with annoyance; how hard could it be to choose a tree? When she suggested any to Kurt, he brushed her off, though he seemed just as bored as she did.

"What did you say to Finn exactly? We could have used his expertise, even if it pains me to admit that." Kurt ran his hand along one of the trees then pulled a face, clearly unimpressed by the selection.

Rachel managed a small shrug. "Nothing, not really."

Kurt didn't hide his annoyance from his face, and when his cell phone began to buzz in his pocket, he was more than grateful for the distraction. "Hello, this is Kurt speaking," he said with a smile in Rachel's direction, who was looking particularly guilty. "Carole, I can't hear- Are you crying? Carole!" Rachel caught her breath as Kurt's smile disappeared. "What... Finn? O-okay, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Rachel felt her knees tremble because there was physically _no way_ that it could be good news, especially since Kurt looked like he'd seen a ghost. "Kurt, what is it?" she managed to squeak.

Kurt shook his head in disbelief, and somehow, though his mouth was dry and his voice was hoarse, he managed to whisper four words that shattered Rachel's heart. "Finn's just been shot."

**A/N: **A few people made very educated guesses about what was going to happen (some of you were really close!), but I haven't finished yet! :) There are two more chapters to come, and I'll upload those as soon as I'm able. Thanks for the amazing feedback!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Right, here's where I ask you all to trust me :) I know a lot of people were confused about what's going on, so here's a summary;  
Chapters one and two are scenario A, whereas chapters three and four are scenario B. They're both 'what if' stories, where one little action (Finn making Rachel leave, and Rachel making Finn leave respectively) changes the outcome; these are basically parallel worlds, you see? If it still doesn't make much sense, hopefully chapter five will clear things up; sorry for the confusion!**

**Also, this chapter is dedicated to my amazing friend Kenz (egyouppt). There's no real reason, but you should go and check out her fics; she writes the best Finchel fiction ever, and you won't be disappointed if you take the time to read some of her work :) (also, thanks Kenz for reading through this chapter for me, even if I actually redid 90% of it).**

Rachel felt her whole body shake with the words that couldn't _possibly_ be true, because she'd seen Finn not even twenty minutes ago, and this was Lima; who would want to shoot Finn Hudson?

"Rachel, did you hear me?"

She nodded once, because she didn't have time to compile a list of reasons why Finn didn't deserve to be hurt, and she didn't have time to create a case against the likelihood of Finn being shot, and she didn't have to time to worry because she needed to _act._

"We need to go and find him," she said, managing to hide her fear from her voice.

Kurt nodded his head then shook it from side to side as he dropped his iPhone to the floor, a crack smashing against the screen. "Finn -" He burst into tears, and as much as she wanted to join him, Rachel was a leader, and she had to take matters into her own hands. Finn's keys still in her pocket, she snatched Kurt's phone from the floor, grasped his hand in hers and pulled him towards the truck, a careful frown on her face.

"Rachel, Finn-"

"I know," she whispered.

She stayed focused, because she didn't have time for a breakdown. She helped Kurt into the truck, and once inside, she adjusted the seat to suit her height (Finn's legs were amazingly long).

"Which hospital is he at?" she asked calmly, holding the steering wheel carefully in her hands

"He's not there yet. There's been some problem, and they've had to p-pull over to treat him. Rachel, he's _dying_!"

Rachel clenched her jaw with renewed determination. "Where's the ambulance? Where's Carole?"

Kurt closed his eyes and rested his head against the car seat, steadying his breathing as he dug his fingers into his legs; he couldn't deal with this. Tears streamed down his face as he formulated a response. "They're parked up on Washington Street but I don't know why; Carole just said that she and my dad are on their way.

Rachel didn't dwell on why Finn wasn't at the hospital, nor did she dwell on the details of the situation. She simply turned on the engine, pressed her foot on the gas and sped down the street, her hands clasped tightly around the wheel.

They drove in silence, partly because both of them were emotionally drained, and partly because Rachel was too busy concentrating on staying alive; Finn's truck was temperamental and big, and she felt like she was going to hit something.

However, she suddenly felt the need to sing, because singing always calmed her down, and the silence in the truck was eating away at her, especially since she could hear Kurt's suffering sobs now and again.

"_Down in a local bar, out on the boulevard, the sound of an old guitar is saving you from sinking. It's a long way down, it's a long way_." Rachel bit her lip, looking across at Kurt. "It's a song by Dashboard Confessional; Finn is a big fan."

Kurt glared in her direction. "You think I don't know that just because I never dated him? In case you didn't know Miss Berry, I'm his brother, and he's actually on speaking terms with me."

Rachel felt like she'd just been slapped, because she'd expected kindness, not unnecessary hostility, especially in the strained circumstances. "_Don't turn away; dry your eyes, dry your eyes. Don't be afraid, but keep it all inside, all inside." _She wasn't going to let Kurt make her feel even worse about everything, so she continued to sing the chorus because it helped keep her sane, and that was something she desperately needed. "_When you fall apart, dry your eyes, dry your eyes. Life is always hard for the Belle of the Boulevard."_

She turned onto Washington Street and slammed the brakes down, causing Kurt to jerk in his seat angrily, because there were ambulances, and police cars, and spectators, and chaos.

Rachel felt a hand fasten around hers, and her passing frustration with Kurt dissolved because it was all irrelevant now.

"Let's go." The two of them clambered out of the truck, and without hesitating, they held hands again because the contact was reassuring, and they needed reassurance like air.

"Will they let us see him?" Kurt whispered, doing nothing to hide his fear.

Rachel nodded, though a little hesitantly. "There's no reason why they wouldn't. Leave it to me." She pulled Kurt towards the commotion, and focused on breathing in time with their footsteps. She was an expert on breathing patterns. It was a well known fact that the members of glee complained about everything she did (or even suggested), and breathing exercises had been one of them. They'd failed to understand that the key to a perfect performance was the ability to control the flow of air travelling through the lungs, and she'd only managed to get Finn to practice with her after she'd promised to try that ridiculous COD game (he'd almost passed out when he held his breath for too long and she hadn't been able to grasp the concept of shooting the enemy).

She smiled briefly at the memory. She'd been so frightened when Finn had collapsed on the floor, gasping for breath, that she'd promised herself that she'd always be there to protect him, despite the impossibility of that notion. Now she promised herself that she'd hold it together, for Kurt's sake as well as her own.

Rachel tugged gently on Kurt's hand, and without a word, she pulled him into the crowd of onlookers, her grip never wavering because she refused to lose him.

"Can you believe it?"

"He's lucky to be alive."

"It's just terrible that they can't get him to the hospital."

"Excuse me, can you help me please?" Rachel approached two old ladies who had been talking about the incident. She wanted to see Finn, that wasn't an issue, but she needed to know what was happening.

One of the women looked taken aback. "Of course dear, what's the matter?" The tear stains on Rachel's face didn't go unnoticed, but the stranger didn't push her on it.

"My boyf- my friend was involved in an accident, and I was wondering if you knew anything?" Rachel kept her voice calm and steady while Kurt hiccupped now and again beside her.

The other woman looked instantly sympathetic. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear that." She patted Rachel kindly on the shoulder, nodding sadly. "He was shot." Rachel flinched; it was a shock to hear it from someone else's mouth. "Mavis and I were walking home, as we always do on a Saturday afternoon, and when we heard gunfire we couldn't believe it!"

The woman known as Mavis nodded eagerly. "We were scared out of our wits!"

Kurt tried to pull Rachel away, because this wasn't anything new to them, but she resisted. "Why hasn't the ambulance made it to the hospital? Is there some kind of problem?"

The old women looked at each other as if exchanging silent conversation. "We're not sure."

"It looks like the boy had called the ambulance before he was shot, and when he was attacked, one of the bullets hit the ambulance's tyre," piped up Mavis.

The other woman shook her head. "That's just a rumour though, we-"

"Thank you!" called Rachel as she dragged Kurt towards the ambulance. Specifics weren't important; Finn was still there, being treated in the ambulance. With a deep breath and a determined frown, she forced herself upon the mercy of the EMTs, who were yelling at everyone in earshot.

_Drink up, baby down  
Mmm, are you in or are you out?_

"My name is Rachel Berry," she said loudly, holding her free hand towards one of the ambulance technicians, "and I'm looking for Finn Hudson. Could you please tell me what his status is?"

One EMT, a small, tired looking man, glared at Rachel incredulously. "And how is that any of your business? We have a boy to treat, and-"

"I'm well aware of that," she said coldly, a crease appearing between her eyebrows. She lowered her hand, which the man hadn't taken, and pulled away from Kurt's grip so that she could cross her arms and huff. "I'm his g-girlfriend, and I want to know how he's doing!"

The man looked hesitant, but a female colleague strode over, nodding once at Rachel and Kurt. "He's stable. We haven't released the name so I'm trusting that the two of you are related to him in some way." She pulled the ambulance door back, revealing a stretcher and a still, barely breathing figure. "You can see him for a minute, but we're working here. One minute, okay?"

_Leave your things behind  
'Cause it's all going off without you_

Rachel was silent, unable to express her gratitude. She stepped inside the ambulance, and when it was confirmed, when she saw Finn Hudson covered in blood and equipment, she whispered his name softly.

"Finn..." Without a second thought, she took his hand, squeezing it tightly with her cold fingers (she'd left her gloves at the tree farm, and couldn't care less if she tried).

She winced as she looked at Finn's face since she barely recognised him; his skin was drained of colour, and he wore an intimidating mask that frightened her more than she could have thought possible.

_Excuse me, too busy, you're writing your tragedy  
These mishaps you bubble wrap  
When you've no idea what you're like_

Kurt hovered beside them, his hand outstretched, though not touching Finn's body, like an invisible barrier separated them.

"He's alive," he whispered, though it sounded like a question instead of a statement.

Rachel kissed Finn's limp hand, making comforting noises under her breath. "He is."

_So let go, jump in  
Oh well, what you waiting for?_

"I'm here Finn," she whispered, brushing her hand against his cheek. "And I'm going to be here until you're better, because I still love you, even if you-" She hiccupped as she buried her face into the crook of his arm. "I love you so much, and I'm so sorry."

_It's alright  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

Kurt rested a hand on her shoulder, and said nothing else.

_Oh, it's so amazing here  
It's alright  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

"It all seems so superficial now," Rachel breathed to both Finn and Kurt. "I can't believe that I was so hung up on something that happened months ago when my boyf... Finn's been _shot_." She wiped a fresh batch of tears away from her eyes and made a sobbing noise. "I don't care if you never want to speak to me again Finn, but please, don't give up."

_It gains the more it gives  
And then it rises with the fall_

Finn's eyelids flickered like he was dreaming, and Rachel choked on all the things she needed to say.

_So hand me that remote  
Can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow?_

"I miss his eyes, Kurt. Finn has the most amazing eyes. They cut straight to the core and they see what's really happening, most of the time..."

"Kurt? Rachel?" Both turned to look towards Carole, who had appeared beside them, clinging to Burt's hand for dear life. "F-F-Finn?"

_Such boundless pleasure_

Rachel looked away from them all so that she could watch Finn instead, but when she did, she noticed a red liquid leaking through the bandages on his chest.

_We've no time for later now_

"Help, someone help!"

_You can't await your own arrival_

The EMTs rushed into the ambulance, pushing people out of the way, and Rachel found herself crushing Carole's hand.

_You've twenty seconds to comply_

"He's bleeding out! He's not going to last here! We need to get him to the hospital!"

_So let go, jump in_

Gauze, bandages, saline drips; they scared the hell out of Rachel, out of everyone.

_Oh well, what you waiting for?_

"Finn-"

_It's alright_

"There's too much blood!"

'_Cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

Rachel's body began to shut down at the same time as Finn's.

_So let go, just get in_

She felt her knees give way, and she collapsed, her eyes closed, her breathing shallow.

_Oh, it's so amazing here_

"Rachel!"

'_Cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

Finn's eyes opened.

**A/N: **I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! :)

Almost done with this fic now; just one more chapter to go. Hopefully, you can see the parallels between Finn and Rachel's experiences, and like I said, as long as I pull it off, the next chapter should explain everything. If you do have a question, please feel free to leave it in a review and I'll get back to you again, Lyrics are from Dashboard Confessional's Belle of the Boulevard and Frou Frou's Let Go.


	5. Chapter 5

**Voila, the conclusion. Warning; it is clichéd and fluffy in so many ways, but still, I hope you like it; viva la Finchel! Reviews, as always, are immensely appreciated.**

"And one year we had this absolutely _awesome_ tree that wouldn't fit in the living room, so I had to cut the top off, and I kept it in my bedroom with a little star and everything."

Finn didn't care if Kurt had spaced out, 'cause this was one thing he could get excited about, and he wasn't going to let his step brother's lack of enthusiasm ruin it for him. Yeah, okay, so the whole Christmas tree farm reminded him of Rachel, but he was gonna be strong, 'cause it was only a bit of heartbreak, right? People got over it, wrote love songs, dated other people, and he was going to (try and) do that.

"I'm so excited about this," he smiled as he jumped out of his truck, rubbing his hands together to warm himself up. It was coming in cold, though it still didn't seem cold _enough_, if that made sense. Finn really wanted a white Christmas so he could bury himself under a pile of snow and freeze to death, but then he realised that was a bit too dramatic (and more Rachel's area of expertise), and decided instead that he wanted a bit of white stuff so he could pelt Kurt with snowballs.

Rachel didn't truly understand the magic associated with Christmas trees, since she was Jewish and all, and wasn't privy to the tradition of decorating dying trees with stockings and baubles. Still, she had to admit that it was nice to stroll through the rows upon rows of green, happy-looking trees, knowing that most of them would be welcomed into the homes of families, cherished for simply existing.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts, because as much as she liked the concept, she was choosing a tree with Kurt, and the last time she'd been here, she'd been helping Finn, singing with Finn, attempting to kiss Finn... She really wanted to play on some violent video game, killing everyone and everything to rid herself of her frustration, but then she realised that was a bit too dramatic (and more Finn's area of expertise), and decided instead that she just wanted a quiet break from school, away from those who had been judging her.

"K-Kurt?"

Finn looked at Rachel, his brow creasing and his mouth setting in an unbelieving grimace. Rachel looked at Finn, her eyes diverting to the floor and her jaw clenched in silent betrayal; Kurt had set them both up.

"Rachel?" Finn said her name, _just_ to make sure that she was real and stuff, because Kurt hadn't mentioned _anything_ about her coming along. "Kurt, what the hell is this?"

"Oh give it a rest Finn," said Kurt impatiently, waving his concern away with his hand. "Rachel's my friend and I wanted her to be here, okay? Don't be so egotistical to think that it was some clever ploy to lure the two of you together."

And then Kurt flounced off, and Finn was alone with Rachel, and Rachel was alone with Finn, and you know something? It was so _strange_, because Finn felt like he'd been there before. Obviously he'd been at the farm before, but... he couldn't explain it.

Neither could Rachel. She felt inclined to make a snide comment about the situation, but she bit back her words, because it was as if she _knew_ that the outcome would be one that she regretted.

Finn wanted to insult Kurt, he could feel it in his throat, but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to say the words out loud. It was déjà vu, right? You know, that thing where it felt like you'd already done something? Because he was almost certain that it was déjà vu that was stopping him from making some kind of mistake (not that he had any idea what that mistake was).

The two of them stood together silently for exactly one minute, not saying anything, and not looking at each other. Rachel's gaze was directed at a rock beside her foot, and Finn was preoccupied with a bird that was balancing on one of the trees.

He felt his legs ache like he needed to walk away, and he started to, as did Rachel, who felt her legs move of their own accord.

But Finn's heart wasn't into it, and as he saw Rachel head away from him, he couldn't stop himself from yelling. It wasn't just a small shout, but a proper scream, and he had no idea in hell what possessed him to do that; "Don't leave!"

He wasn't the only person shouting. As Rachel watched Finn take a step away, she thought she was going to be sick, which wasn't something she was accustomed to, and she opened her mouth, only for her to scream, "Stay!"

A few people looked in their direction, and both Finn and Rachel blushed simultaneously, because seriously, what the hell had just happened?

"I uh-" he started.

"Yeah, I don't-" she continued.

It was all kinds of awkward, but there were smiles on their lips, which had to be a good thing, and the weird 'I've been here before' feeling had melted away with their words in the air.

"I'm sorry," they whispered together, and as if the shock of this admission woke them both up, they looked at each other properly, looked each other right in the eyes, and they both let out a tiny sigh.

"I've always loved your eyes Rach," admitted Finn. "God, I don't even... Look, I don't know why I'm saying that now, 'cause, well..." He gave an embarrassed shrug. "It just, I dunno, _feels_ like I've always wanted to tell you that, you know? No, of course you don't know, _I_ don't even know."

"No, I do know," Rachel whispered, a tear rolling down her face and catching her off guard. She wiped it away with her mitten, and looked back at Finn, whose eyes seemed concerned and confused. "I love your eyes too Finn, and I'm not just saying that because you said it first." She managed a smile, and it was her turn for a bashful shrug of her shoulders. "I can't explain it, but when... when I looked into them, it was as if I had to tell you before something terrible happened. What does that mean?"

Finn laughed loudly (God, he missed laughing with Rachel) and gave her an extra crooked grin, 'cause yeah, it sounded all kinds of insane, but he somehow understood without really understanding.

So. Fucked. Up.

"Oh for God's sake, I do _not _need to be dealing with this right now!" The voice was that of Kurt's, which temporarily broke Finn and Rachel from their strange trance. He stormed over, an angry snarl on his mouth, and brandished his iPhone in their faces. "It just fell out of my hand!"

Rachel gasped a little, since his phone had a large crack across the screen, and shook her head. "It just fell out of your hand? You dropped it, you mean."

Kurt rolled his eyes with a huff. "I didn't _drop_ it, it _fell._ I was holding onto it tightly and it just, I don't know, fell! I'm going to go sit in the truck and sulk while you two get some lousy tree."

Finn pulled his 'I have no idea what's going on' face, which made Rachel giggle because she missed that face so much. "Is there a difference between dropping his phone, and it falling? Whatever, I don't even care. Wanna help sort the tree out?"

Rachel nodded with a smile. "I'd love to Finn." And before she knew it, he was holding her mittened hand in his gloved one, and even though it was all happening so fast, it felt like it made sense, like there were bigger things than the two of them falling out.

**Glee!**

Finn banged his fist against his truck's window to get Kurt's attention. "Come on man, are you gonna help me lift the tree onto the top of this thing or what?"

Kurt rolled his eyes and shook his head, mouthing through the glass; "Rachel can do it."

Finn looked apologetically over at Rachel, who gave him her best Berry smile. "I can handle it. I may be small, but I'm strong."

"Good to know," he said with a tiny smile. "Okay, can you get this end?" He patted the top of the tree, and she nodded once, a new twinkle in her eyes that made Finn's stomach do a weird growly thing. As he lifted the trunk, Rachel clung to the other end, and the two of them managed to lift it onto the top of the truck.

"Have you got some string?" she asked. She looked at Finn as she waited for an answer, and was greeted by a coy smile. "What is it?" She blushed from head to toe since he was looking at her, and not just in a fleeting kind of way; he was looking at her like he actually _cared_ about what he was seeing.

"Come here," he said, a hint of a laugh in his voice. Rachel looked alarmed, which made it all the funnier. "Please Rach, just come here for a second."

How could she resist him when he called her that? In all fairness, Rach wasn't an elaborate or original nickname, being a shortened version of her actual name and all, yet only Finn called her that, and it gave her goose bumps every time. "S-sure." She took a few cautious steps towards him, and before she knew what was happening, his fingers were in her hair, softly stroking her. "I-"

He pulled his hand away, and with a guilty grin, he held a couple of pine needles in the air. "You had some in your hair. Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's fine, thank you Finn." She smiled, and he smiled, and the two of them seemed to gravitate towards each other, because she was suddenly hugging him tightly, and he was pulling her closer, and it was good to know that they still _fit_; his arms were Rachel Berry shaped, they were both sure of it.

She didn't think he'd forgiven her, but really, she was okay with that, for now at least. He needed time to heal, and if that meant being patient, she was willing to wait as long as she needed to. It was because of this, this chemistry, this attraction, that she felt hope, because if he _did_ need her to keep her distance, she knew that Finn still felt something for her, and that was enough to keep her hopeful.

"Do you want to come back with me and Kurt? We were just gonna watch a movie, but you can come, like, if you want to." Finn's arms were still wrapped around her because he was worried that if he let go, she'd vanish, and he'd remember how angry he was with her.

Man was he angry. But like, it didn't _matter_, and he didn't have an idea in hell why. All he knew was that he was lucky to be beside her, and okay, so he was still hurting and stuff, but he figured that the best way to _not_ hurt was to be with her, right? Yeah, he was probably way off mark, but he wasn't taking any chances.

"Yes please," Rachel breathed, inhaling Finn's warm, familiar smell that she'd missed so much since their split.

They tied the tree onto the truck securely, got inside with matching smiles on their faces, and drove to the Hummel house in silence. It wasn't 'awkward, oh my God!' silence, but it was a 'Kurt's just broken one of his most treasured possessions in the world' silence, and both of them knew better than to pester him.

However, as the silence really dawned on Finn, he _knew_ what the situation needed; spontaneous singing. He didn't have any music, the acoustics were probably really terrible inside the truck, and he was risking embarrassing himself, but again, he couldn't explain it; he just had to _do_ it.

"_We watch the season pull up its own stakes, and catch the last weekend of the last week." _He glanced across at Rachel, who had traded places with Kurt so she was sitting in the passenger seat. Finn waited for her to roll her eyes, but instead, she smiled that beautiful smile, and she opened her mouth to join in.

"_Before the gold and glimmer have been replaced, another sun soaked season fades away."_

Finn forgot about Kurt, and Rachel forgot about Kurt, and it was like it was just them, them against the odds, them against everything that had ever opposed them, and it was fucking amazing.

"_You have stolen my heart."_

"_You have stolen my heart." _

Kurt, who was wallowing in self pity in the back seat, had never felt so conflicted before. On the one hand, he wanted to cry with joy because the two idiots had finally seen sense, and on the other hand, he wanted Finn to pull over so he didn't puke on the seats (seriously, it was like they were having hot, steamy eye sex right in front of him, and the singing didn't really help).

"Yes!" Finn and Rachel both jumped in their seats at Kurt's outburst. "Yes yes YES! It's still working!" He cradled his iPhone in his arms, smiling down fondly like he'd just given birth to it. "Oh baby, you are the most talented thing in the world after me and Coco Chanel. It's a Christmas miracle!"

**Glee!**

So, there they were, Kurt, Finn and Rachel, spread across the couch as some terrible movie flashed across the TV screen. The three of them had been unable to agree on a movie they'd all enjoy, so Kurt had flicked through the channels until he'd found some black and white Spanish thing that none of them were able to understand (though Finn couldn't stop laughing when a guy fell off his horse).

As Kurt tried his best to follow the language, Finn found that he was more interested in the feel of Rachel's hand in his. Her skin was soft and smooth and perfect, and he'd forgotten how much he just liked to stroke it (without sounding like a total creep). He wasn't sure where they were, like, at _all_, but he liked that uncertainty, because it was finally a good kind of uncertainty, you know?

Really, all he knew was that he loved her, he'd _always_ loved her, and thanks to his weird déjà vu moment, he realised that he _was_ able to forgive her in the long run. If that meant he had to rein in the spontaneous kisses and blatant attempts to touch Rachel's butt... well, he could deal with that.

Rachel was just thankful that Finn was such an amazing person. She'd never doubted that before, and knew she never would in the future, but after the mess she'd made trying to hurt him, she hadn't expected his forgiveness, never mind so soon. Sure, she could feel the slight hesitance in his actions, but that was to be expected, and it was more than she'd ever hoped for.

The movie disappeared (not that anyone complained), and a news bulletin appeared, which made the three of them sit a little straighter in their seats.

"I'm here on Washington Street in Lima, Ohio, where a young man fired several gun shots into the air before killing himself."

They didn't hear the rest, because somehow, it was as if they'd all known that this was going to happen (and that was insane, right?).

"Ouch," muttered Finn, whose chest began to ache at the same time as Rachel's, who placed a hand to her body, wincing. He rubbed at his skin through his sweater, then kissed Rachel's shoulder. "You too?"

She nodded. "Yes. I can't explain it, but it feels like I've just-"

"Been shot?" Finn offered. "I feel it too. Must be some kind of sympathy thing, I dunno."

Rachel bit her lip, but didn't disagree with him. "Must be."

Once the report was over, they didn't catch the rest of the movie, because the three of them fell asleep, leaning on each other as they dreamt. It felt like a really long day, even if they hadn't done much of anything at all.

A jolt suddenly woke Finn and Rachel, and their eyes opened, searching for each other.

"I forgot to tell you something," she breathed, reaching a hand out to his face.

"Me too," he admitted, smiling into her touch.

"I love you," they whispered simultaneously.

**A/N: **You know what? I don't even care that this is a pretty lame ending because my other fic, Self Esteem, has actually just ridded me of my angsty muse! That means that when I return in February from my hiatus, there'll be lots of Finchel fluff in store thank GOODNESS. I swear, Glee has screwed me up so badly.

Anyway, thanks for the awesome feedback. I hope this makes sense? I know that a lot of people were confused before, so yeah, this is what _actually_ happened. I would go into more depth but it's late and I have to get going. Again, thank you so much, and see you guys when I see you!


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